SECURE ENOUGH TO VENTURE OUT
I love reading the biographies of daring and creative people. They widen my horizons and give me a taste of a world different to my own.
But I always find myself wondering where the courage to cross new boundaries comes from. Or the daring to attempt outrageous actions. How can such people risk criticism or live with a result less than they dreamed of? Are they ready to navigate failure? And what is the role of ambition?
I have a conflicted relationship with ambition. Early in mid-life I was accused of being too ambitious, of daring to challenge the status quo. I do not have a confronting personality, nor am I inclined naturally to push boundaries, so this accusation came as a shock. Being a woman was the apparent problem in that circumstance.
The Courage of Faith
But in the process, I learned to make a distinction between selfish ambition and humble ambition. (Yes, there is such a thing!) I was compelled to face with courage a new challenge because I believed I was called to it. Later I wrote in Finding Your Voice, a chapter I called “The Courage of Faith”. It was based on one of my favourite sayings: Hope is hearing the melody of the future. Faith is to dance to it.
Recently I discovered how The Message paraphrase renders Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 8 about being adopted as God’s son or daughter: “This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike ‘What’s next, Papa?’”
That’s how I am trying to face life now in my senior years. What’s next, Father?
So where does the necessary faith and courage come from? Some have it naturally it seems, some only after divine healing of life’s scars. But some appear to be needlessly risk-averse. Regularly downplaying our ability and gifts, the imposter syndrome, leads many to reject opportunities to dare, to lead or to serve. It goes with the territory of being a woman, but all of us can fall into it.
A Secure Base
“Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base.” The words come from a British psychologist advocating for children to be raised to live adventurously. Presumably, this needs more than adventure playgrounds, though they are a good start. The recent Adolescence episodes illustrate the parenting deficits many children suffer, even in Western countries.
But it’s not only children who need a secure base. We all do. When I was speaking about this last Sunday, a friend pointed me to a website, The Circle of Security. It has many practical applications of value to parents, teachers, and therapists. As I explored it, I found myself strongly resonating with them.
I had a secure childhood. Although we moved many times (3 Australian states, 8 schools) I knew I was loved and protected by my parents. I had the opportunity to succeed at school and go into higher education, and my parents believed in me. It set me up for an adventurous adulthood.
My parents also trusted me. I rode a Vespa scooter from the age of 16. (That was South Australia in those days!) And then they released me into the big wide world, supporting my decision to move to the US to marry my fiancé, though they couldn’t afford to come to the wedding.
A good start, yes, but now my security rests in more recent experience. I have a great family of my own, a loving husband, children, and grandchildren. And I have received healing of the wounds inevitable in a long life.
Secure for this Season too
In this season, I have found writing books very satisfying. Especially when they are published and the hard copy is in my hands. But it is also scary. It too needs courage. Do my ideas stand up to scrutiny? Is my theology thoroughly biblical? Will people be helped by all this hard work? A secure base is still needed at this stage of life. With the letting go challenges of old age, I find my mind focused on what gives me the necessary security to keep learning and daring.
Best of all, I know I am secure in God’s love. As a forgiven God-born child, I am at home in an incredible intimacy with the divine Father. It is security like the prodigal found in his waiting father’s open arms. So at home with this Good Father and guided by the Spirit, I can grow to be more like my model, Jesus. That’s how I want to live, how I can continue to dare.
Jennifer Turner
Photo credit: Michalovski: “Three Young Men in Fiery Furnace” (Faras Cathedral, Sudan)
