So would I change my name if I was marrying now? asks Jennifer Turner

So would I change my name if I was marrying now? asks Jennifer Turner

I took my husband’s surname when we married many years ago. So much has changed in our social world and someone asked me this International Women’s Day if I would do that now. It has made me think some more about the issue of personal identity and how it is connected to our name.

When I married in America, I kept my ‘maiden’ name in the middle. It was quite common there. If you pick up a book and see the author has a name with two family names after their given name, the odds are it is an American writer. By keeping the Gibson, I embraced the link to my family of origin while at the same time celebrating the formation of our new family under my husband’s name. For quite a number of years, I wrote professionally as a town planner under the three-name style.

But when I returned to Australia in the 70s, official protocol would not accept my name in that format. On my next passport, they insisted that I attach neé Gibson instead. I don’t know when the change happened, but certainly now as names go, you can choose your own style.

So would I change my name if I was marrying now? At the end of a day pondering it, the answer is ‘perhaps not’. But I would want my husband and me (and our children) to have a name in common. It could come from my family of origin, or his. To not have a shared name feels to me like keeping the door open to go your separate ways again sooner or later. I know that is not how everyone sees it, and there are many other factors in the choice women make. There are life events that derail us from our best aspirations too.

But I would want in my choice to affirm the biblical ideal of marriage as a commitment for life. When we were recently celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary, people asked our secret of a long and happy marriage. It was hard to answer because there is no formula. But I found it helpful to think of marriage as a collaborative work of art. That is, it is a creative and valued endeavour that you are doing together. You don’t know what the work of art will become, but you are committed to making it work together under God’s loving hand. It does not come fully formed when you say, “I do”. You work at it over the years.

Love, agape self-giving love, is of course the primary glue that binds a couple together and enables them separately and together to flourish. But sometimes agape love seems rather nebulous. So in our marriage, we have come to think of kindness as the virtue that best expresses what is needed day in, day out, in the ups and downs of life.

We have just celebrated another wedding anniversary and my husband styled the envelope for the card: Mrs Neil Turner. I smiled and got the joke. That was what I was called on our wedding day, but not now. I have my own name back, as well as his.

Jennifer Turner

 

 

 

Nicki Bowles- The Privilege of Pastoring Together– A Mutual Call to Surrender.

Nicki Bowles- The Privilege of Pastoring Together– A Mutual Call to Surrender.

As I sit and reflect on my own call to pastoring, I am confronted not only by the immense privilege it has been to serve the Church of Jesus Christ in ministry, but also how difficult it has been in many ways. For the past five years, God has taken me on a confronting journey that continues to require my full surrender to Him.  This is a journey into the dawning realization that, in an age where the promotion of self appears paramount and essential, Jesus actually asks the opposite of us – a denial of self, a cross-shaped lifestyle, a laying down of things held dear, surrender to Him and submission to each other.

As I reflect on the mutuality and confluence of men and women serving together in leadership I am increasingly mindful of the fact that all are called to surrender to Jesus, all are called to mutual submission, all are called to a laying down of personal rights, agendas, and opinions. The way of the cross is one of simplicity and love. This requires a letting go of pride, and power, and control. What does it mean to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21)? To consider others better than yourself? In finding the answers to these questions we can be set free to promote others, to create unity, and to work for a release of all into their giftings for the benefit of the Body of Christ. I love the Passion translation of Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.”

This challenge resounds to male and female alike….

My call to pastoring was not a call to a position or a career, but a call to service. This was a call that came out of love for others and a belief that the people of God have an answer for the world’s pain. I was working as a paramedic with St John Ambulance WA in 2009 when my partner and I received a call to attend to the hanging suicide of a young woman. I wrote in my journal:

“I am walking away from the woman’s lifeless body lying on the ground. There is nothing that can be done. I have been a paramedic with St John Ambulance WA for seven years, and these jobs, (callouts to suicides), never get easier. This young woman committed suicide because she couldn’t cope with the pain after her mentally ill ex-partner murdered their three-year-old son. Oh, Jesus, I want to work with people before they get to this point of no return.”

I could have gone into counseling or social work; perhaps another profession in the health area. However, I wanted to be free to tell people the good news of Jesus Christ in my job… I knew I was being called to be a pastor. I went on to study for a Graduate Diploma of Divinity at Vose Seminary, and have now been working at Riverview Church for 6 years.

I believe that we are entering into a season where Jesus is waking up His church, resounding a new call for her to be the light and salt that she needs to be in order to stand effectively against the darkness overshadowing our world. This will require a new unity within the Church of Perth, with all people who call themselves disciples of Jesus joining together to embody the Body of Christ in all her beauty, complexity, strength, and diversity.

“You are the body of the Anointed One, and each of you is a unique and vital part of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:27 (TPT)

Amen

 

Nicki Bowles is a Care Pastor at Riverview Church, a large, contemporary community of Jesus-followers in Perth Western Australia. In this role Nicki is responsible for the pastoral care and spiritual direction of Riverview people, as well as the facilitation of the weekly Prayer Gathering. She holds a Graduate Diploma of Divinity from Vose Seminary, and has been pastoring for six years after a seven year stint as a paramedic with St John Ambulance WA.  She is passionate about Jesus and his Church, her family, and fashion, and also loves to dance to Abba music when things get too serious. She appreciates her husband Tim, who works as a drama teacher, and always supports her in her ministry call.

If you or someone you know are experiencing a personal crisis, call 13 11 14 for 24/7 confidential support from a trained Lifeline crisis supporter.

I am uncomfortable with the fact that women are restricted from leading and teaching men in my church. What advice can you give to help me raise this issue at my church?

Sometimes God gives us a sense of holy discontent because he wants us to be an agent for change. Perhaps God is prompting you to be an agent of change in your church community. Discerning whether this is the case is important and you should spend some time praying about it.

Next, you could consider chatting with your church leadership about the church’s position on women in ministry. You might find that:

A. The church does not have an official position on the role of women in ministry. While the church has a culture of male-only leadership, your senior minister may be quite personally affirming of women in ministry leadership. If this is the case, together you could start looking for ways that women can use their leadership and teaching gifts in your church. If you choose this path, it will need to be slow and gentle, and it might be frustrating at times, but really positive change can come as you see women begin to step up to the call to lead. They will need your support and encouragement as they try new things.

B. Your church has a firm commitment to complementarian theology. Often churches with very strong convictions about this make their stance very clear. If this is the position of the church, you may not have much success changing anyone’s mind and maybe you shouldn’t try. If you love your church community and it is a place where you can grow and serve, then perhaps you should stay and continue to do that. Seek opportunities outside your local church context to use your leadership gifts.

If you are in a small town and this is the only place you can worship with other believers, then it may be your only choice. Reach out to other believers who share your passions and conviction for support. There are some great online groups you can be part of. Listen to online sermons and podcasts by women and egalitarian men and be reminded that you are not alone.

C. You can’t stay in that place anymore. If you have firm convictions that women should teach and lead and you are in a church that does not allow for this, then perhaps God is calling you to move on. This might be a hard decision but if you are a woman who is gifted to lead (or you are married to a gifted female leader, or have a daughter who is clearly called to ministry) then it might be time to find a place where you can use and grow the gifts that God has given you.

Questions in this series:
1. How do we read the Bible to decide what to do today?
2. What principles of interpreting Scripture should we apply to understand the passages that are used to limit women’s leadership in the church?
3. What roles did women play in the early church?
4. Did Jesus have female disciples?
5. Does the Holy Spirit give spiritual gifts to all Christians?
6. How can men pave the way for women to have greater opportunities in the church?
7. Why is it important to hear women preach and teach Scripture?
8. I am uncomfortable with the fact that women are restricted from leading and teaching men in my church. What advice can you give to help me raise this issue at my church?

 

Why is it important to hear women preach and teach Scripture?

Women who are gifted and called to preaching and teaching ministry are a great blessing to the church!

The Christian faith is built on the good news that Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Who was the first person to bring this message of good news? A woman! In John 20 we learn that Mary Magdalene is the first to see the risen Christ. Verse 18 tells us, ‘Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: ‘I have seen the Lord!’ And she told them that he had said these things to her.’

Theologian and historian NT Wright says, ‘within that culture, the idea that the prime witness to the most important event in the whole story would be a woman in tears is so counter-intuitive that as a historian, I would have to say that no one would ever have made up that story.’ He goes on to say that God would choose a woman to bear this news was the beginning of a cultural revolution in which women and men together proclaimed the good news of the risen Christ and built the early church. Read through Romans 16 to see how Paul acknowledges and thanks many of his female colleagues in the work they have done together.

The fullness of God’s personhood is expressed not only in masculinity but also in femininity. We were created to be reflections of God – in our distinctiveness, we speak and act for him. The world of theology and Bible interpretation has traditionally been a male-dominated world; men interpret the biblical texts and bring their lived experiences and stories to the teaching of it. The history of the church has benefited enormously from the male perspective, but we gain a richer and deeper understanding when women also have the opportunity to interpret and teach Scripture, to lead, and to show the whole congregation what it looks like to follow Jesus. God revealed himself through both men and women and continues to reveal himself to the world through his people. Women bring feminine perspectives, insights, and pastoral sensitivity that benefit the whole church. God chose to bring the gospel message through a woman in tears – surely this tells us that He wants to hear his women speak up for what they know, and he wants them to do it in their uniquely female ways.

Kay Northcutt in her book, Kindling Desire for God makes the claim that preachers are spiritual directors for their congregations, and that ‘sermons do for congregations what spiritual direction does for individuals.’ Northcutt argues that the preacher should be preaching around themes that include a call to see God in the everyday moments of life, a call to ‘wake up’ and consciously co-create life with God, a call to see each moment of ordinary life as sacramental, a call to see as God sees and a call to develop vocational matters. In doing this, the preacher is guiding the spiritual formation of her congregation and calling them to a closer relationship with God. This is a task not to be undertaken only by men – oh how we miss out when we don’t invite women into this task! To teach our whole congregation to walk closely with God and see at work in all aspects of our lives requires an understanding of what our lives are actually like. As best they try, men cannot really understand what it is like to be female, just as women can’t understand what it is like to be male. To skillfully shepherd our congregations, we need the preaching ministry of both men and women.

For more info:

Watch: Tom Wright speak about women leading in the early church https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os8M9ln2cM0

Kindling Desire for God: Preaching as spiritual direction by Kay L. Northcutt (Minneapolis, MI: Fortress, 2009)

Questions in this series:
1. How do we read the Bible to decide what to do today?
2. What principles of interpreting Scripture should we apply to understand the passages that are used to limit women’s leadership in the church?
3. What roles did women play in the early church?
4. Did Jesus have female disciples?
5. Does the Holy Spirit give spiritual gifts to all Christians?
6. How can men pave the way for women to have greater opportunities in the church?
7. Why is it important to hear women preach and teach Scripture?
8. I am uncomfortable with the fact that women are restricted from leading and teaching men in my church. What advice can you give to help me raise this issue at my church?

How can men pave the way for women to have greater opportunities in the church?

Pastor Eugene Cho makes this powerful point about the role that men play in supporting women in church leadership:

‘Power, voice, and influence are not easily pursued and obtained. It must be distributed and shared by those who have that very power, voice, and influence. And because it is so counter-cultural, we have to be that much more intentional. As a male, I am embarrassed at times at the manner in which we [men] directly, indirectly or systematically oppress our sisters.’

If you are a male pastor, elder, deacon, councilor, board member, partner, or a member of your church than you have the opportunity to use your power, voice, and influence to advocate on behalf of the women in your church, especially on behalf of those who are gifted and called to church leadership. But as Cho points out, it requires intentionality.

In his brilliant book, ‘Holding Up Half the Sky’ Dr. Graham Joseph Hill speaks to his male colleagues and peers in church ministry, presenting 15 strategies by which men can empower and releasing more female leaders in the church. We have highlighted five of these strategies below:

Get real about empowering female leaders.
Prioritise it, give it more than just a nod! Make it a value of your institution and hold yourself and your team accountable for that.

Enable women to sit at the table.
This will involve you intentionally seeking out women to invite into leadership discussions. As Sheryl Sandberg points out in her book, Lean In, men reach for opportunities far more readily than women. If you want to add women to your leadership teams, boards, platforms and conversations, then you will need to invite them, invest in them and encourage them to be assertive and believe in themselves.

Build cultures where men and women can equally succeed.
If you are the senior leader in your church, think about the working environment you have created for your team. There may be hidden barriers to women succeeding that may be more easily spotted by the women in the team. It may require you to ask questions of the women in the team; how have they experienced marginalisation, neglect, or discrimination?

Get proactive about women speakers.
Give women the chance to preach to your congregation. If they’ve never previously been given an opportunity, help find mentors and trainers for them. Link them with those who can help them hone their skills and give them opportunities to grow. In environments where men are groomed for ministry roles, young men have often had the opportunity to improve in many ways and over time. Women, on the other hand, are sometimes thrown in the deep end and expected to perform well, often with the pressure of representing all women! In addition to raising your own female speakers, find experienced guest female speakers and give them a platform in your own church.

Help women see women at the table.
Help expand the imaginations of women for their roles in ministry. When women see other women flourishing in ministry leadership, it gives them a greater sense of what God might be calling them to do too. Provide networking opportunities for female leaders, invite emerging leaders to denominational gatherings where they will have the opportunity to meet other female ministers, introduce them to your female colleagues in ministry and help them find female mentors and sponsors.

Reference:
Holding up half the sky: A biblical case for women leading and teaching in the church by Graham Joseph Hill (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2020).

Questions in this series:
1. How do we read the Bible to decide what to do today?
2. What principles of interpreting Scripture should we apply to understand the passages that are used to limit women’s leadership in the church?
3. What roles did women play in the early church?
4. Did Jesus have female disciples?
5. Does the Holy Spirit give spiritual gifts to all Christians?
6. How can men pave the way for women to have greater opportunities in the church?
7. Why is it important to hear women preach and teach Scripture?
8. I am uncomfortable with the fact that women are restricted from leading and teaching men in my church. What advice can you give to help me raise this issue at my church?

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